I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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