If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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