sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
