If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
