Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
