can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
