do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
