I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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