we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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