So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
