its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
