im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
