Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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