Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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