i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
