if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
