I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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