Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
