i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
