thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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