Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dual....:-)
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
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I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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