my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
