Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
