and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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