she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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