3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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