Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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