After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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