At least make sure they are 18
Why
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
