the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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