While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
