i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
