Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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