at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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