I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
