i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
