Your tits are I can't wait for
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
