break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
