i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
