sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
