Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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