i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
