I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
please come you make the beer taste better
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
