Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
