i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
