ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
