Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
no you cant smoke seaweed
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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