how can u be prego again
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
