She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
