the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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