i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
