i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
