I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
