I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
