3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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