we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
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Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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