just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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