You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just want nice things and good sex
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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