I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
