He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
