If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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