It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
