Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize