So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize