how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize