she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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